An educated Grandma shares her stories, ideas, and inspiration to achieve the MISSION of supporting parents and educators to release old habits and embrace new ways of guiding, disciplining, and teaching the children of the world. Lovingly guiding the caretakers now, to achieve social, emotional, and physical wellness from NOW ON! 💗
is very challenging. I would much rather stay up all night with a colicky baby,
than to be up all night with my child out there somewhere. Not that my children
have really ever stayed out all night but other things keep me up. For example,
how do I make sure they make the right choices? How do I encourage them to do
the right thing? When do I stand back and allow them to make a mistake and
learn from it and when are the stakes too high to allow that?
Of course these
are all things that you need to work out with your own conscience and values.
My personal opinion is that it is best for them to make mistakes when they are
younger teens and still come to you for advice and help. As they get older they
come to you less and less. The mistakes they make and get help with will guide
them to make better choices and if handled right make them feel comfortable to
come to you still. This behavior of breaking away is developmentally
appropriate but I, along with many other parents of teens struggle with this.
Letting go of your most precious loved one is so hard. Knowing what is out
there, not knowing what new dangers lurk about, all makes for a challenge of a
lifetime. There is no teen proofing the world.
I do not agree
that it is good to shelter teens from the realities, rather I prefer to support
them to make the better choices. This has been hard, with my daughter I really
struggled letting go, she made some choices I wish she hadn’t, but in the end
she is growing into a very responsible and accomplished adult. She learned from those mistakes and was
able to incorporate them into her adulthood.
Foot Ball Team, #55
My son is at that
age where he is all about football and girls. He just got his first girlfriend,
and they went to the high school dance together. I am sure they will go to the
movies soon too. I talk to him about respecting her boundaries, keeping his,
and safe sex too. I would prefer he still thought girls had cooties, at least
until college, but that is not happening. While I went through this with my
daughter it is a whole different thing with my son, so I feel as if I am
learning everything all over again.
In the end we can
only hope that all goes well, that they don’t get involved in the wrong crowd,
they don’t end up at the wrong place at the wrong time, and they make the
better choices. Spending time doing what they are interested in, talking about
the big issues, and staying connected have helped so far in my adventures in
parenting. I am far from perfect, there are many things I have wished I did
differently, but all in all I feel confidant that my children will stay away
from the big problems, like drugs, alcohol, and gangs to name a few.
Happy teens still willing to hang with Mom once in a while!